I felt angry and unhappy when I woke up. Jealousy coursed through my blood. My husband got several new expensive items and planned a hike on the Appalachian Trail with our son.
Poor me; I didn’t have a fun vacation on the horizon, nor did I buy myself a pricey piece of equipment.
The Lord stopped me in the middle of a complaint. Did I believe truths or lies? Was life supposed to be tit for tat, my spouse buys something, and I acquire the same?
God asked me, “What do you really need, Joyce?” I pondered a while and contemplated my answer to the question.
I’d concentrated so much on my husband’s fun that I had no idea what would meet my needs.
If we depend on our husbands to supply all our physical and emotional needs, we’ll get disappointed. There’ll be times when our guys won’t say what we hoped they’d say or provide us with what we think we need.
Unfortunately, our normal reaction is to complain, criticize, and throw out disrespectful comments.
Philippians 2:14 Do everything without grumbling or complaining!
Put a Smile on Your Face
What Would put a smile on your face?
My interests didn’t include hiking a mountain trail or playing golf, but I appreciated the riding lawnmower and my man who mows our lawn.
The question still reverberated through my head. What did I think would bring me pleasure or purpose?
My list didn’t contain big purchases, but they were items I fancied. I planned to get a library card and enjoy an afternoon reading a novel. I made an appointment for a pedicure and planned to drive slowly through a nearby town to see what stores were there. I experimented with shopping online and ordered a replacement toaster for our thirty-year-old one. Maybe I’d eventually find a singing group.
Can’t, Don’t, or Won’t
It’s easy to become sidetracked and believe the lies that we’re less fortunate because we can’t, don’t, or won’t obtain what others acquire. We blame our guys because we lack an object or a privilege that causes us to treat them disrespectfully. It turns our attention entirely on ourselves.
Small Pleasures
When we determine what makes us smile, it usually takes just a tiny amount of effort to incorporate it into our day. It’s the small pleasures: coffee on the front porch, pictures of the grandkids, or a text from a friend who says she’s praying for me.
My happy list consisted of getting a library card to access the online library system to download books on my tablet. I planted deer-resistant lantana in my front garden and put a layer of mulch on the flower beds on both sides of the front door. Then, to top off my list of treats, I bought a frozen chocolate chip cookie dough and put it in the freezer.
How to Stop Complaining
If you’re serious about complaining less, here are some realistic tips for success.
- Start by defining what a complaint is to you.
- Track how often you complain and what about.
- Separate yourself from chronic complainers.
- Turn complaints into solutions.
- Use the “But-God” technique.
- Change “Have to” to “Get to.”
