How do we get our husbands to listen when they think their right? We’ve tried talking to them, but they seem to block us out, and our concerns don’t get heard.
Yelling didn’t work, getting mad didn’t work, and crying ended in frustration.
It’s harder for them to listen when we:
- Say bad things about them, make sarcastic jokes, or cut them down.
- Interrupt, roll our eyes or make faces.
- Call our mom, girlfriend, or sister to share our ugly fight.
- Post our marital squabbles on Facebook or other social media.
- Discuss our discontent with a sympathetic male friend.
- Bury the problem or refuse to discuss it.
Anyone of these harmful behaviors breaks the trust a couple typically feels when they talk together. In addition, negative comments made in public create unnecessary discomfort for us around our families and friends.
Please don’t entangle another person in a dispute. The exceptions would be your pastor, counselor, coach, or mentor. Involving a third-party fuels the flames of your disagreement, not settle it.
Over the years, I learned how I could talk with my husband and discuss a sticky subject where we disagreed.
Try this!
- Discuss one topic at a time
- Take turns talking.
- Look him in the eye when either of you is talking.
- Hold his hand or sit side by side.
- Give him the bottom-line up front and then fill in the details.
The words coming from our mouths possess tremendous power. They hurt feelings and can destroy another’s self-esteem.
A careless negative word or sarcastic comment to our spouse often takes years to repair. Studies show it takes ten or more compliments to erase one criticism.
For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.” ~1 Peter 3:10