Love Is Not Pessimistic

Love is always hopeful. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT

God says not to have a pessimistic outlook but instead to focus on what is good and true. I thought I had a pessimistic personality – the type that sees the glass as half empty and that I couldn’t change. Complaining about life felt natural to me, and following Philippians 4:8 seemed impossible, given my mindset.

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

~ Philippians 4:8

God urges us to consider the good things in our lives and what we observe around us. He tells us to focus on what is kind, good, excellent, and worthy of praise. However, this task can seem impossible when we feel stuck in a negative mindset.

Pessimism can rob us of the courage to try a new activity or pursue a different idea. It can lead to worries about what others might think of us and to doubting our motives. It can even make us feel like we will never be enough, no matter how hard we strive.

Yet, I remind myself that God says I am enough, and so are you, my dear reader. Let’s explore how we can shift our thoughts away from negativity and cultivate hope for our future.

Reduce the Sources of Stress

A major source of negative information is the news, which often creates a cycle of fear by highlighting the worst incidents daily. I noticed this when we lived on a British base in Germany. During my husband’s deployment, the local TV service showed more graphic images than I had seen on the news in the States.

One day, I saw a particularly graphic scene taken near my husband’s location, and I ran out of the room screaming. The images burned themselves into my brain, leaving a trail of fear and worry about my husband in such a dangerous place.

I soon realized that watching the news every day took a toll on my ability to function well while my husband was away. I wanted to stay informed without overwhelming myself, so I decided to watch 10 minutes of news at lunchtime once a week.

If we have people in our lives who hinder our ability to maintain a positive attitude, it may be necessary to limit the time we spend with them. If certain TV shows or social media platforms negatively affect our mood, we either eliminate them from our daily routine or limit how much time we spend on them.

Consider What You Accomplished

I keep a list of tasks in my calendar, which is both a blessing and a problem. It’s a blessing because when I record a project or idea, it reduces the chance of forgetting it. However, when I review the long list of unfinished items, I often feel frustrated and believe I haven’t accomplished enough.

My attitude ought not depend on the size of my list, which might be impossible to accomplish even in a lifetime. Instead, a positive outlook on life relies on whether I focus on what I accomplished rather than what I left undone.

To overcome my daily pessimism, I ask God to reveal the most critical task of the day and focus on completing it. When I finish it, I ask Him which task to tackle next. Although I still have a long list of unfinished projects, I find comfort in knowing I have accomplished the most important tasks for the day. At the end of my day, I reflect on Philippians 4:8, consider what I accomplished, and express gratitude to God for guiding me throughout the day.

Get Some Exercise

Exercise, even simple activities like walking, increases the happy endorphins in our bodies. These endorphins give us positive feelings, distract us from negative thoughts, and provide a hormonal boost of positivity. Regardless of the activity we choose, movement will improve our mood. Personally, I enjoy working in my garden, while others prefer walking the dog or golfing.

I suggest finding an activity you enjoy and can do regularly. My husband plays golf multiple days a week. I enjoy pruning plants and periodically pick up trash along the road when we go for a walk. I have danced for many years and now participate in a local line-dancing group, which I call my happy place.

Walking is an excellent way to add more movement to our days if we’re not sure what to do. Maybe take a walk around the block, or ask a friend to accompany you for some company. Perhaps you like listening to podcasts while you walk, or maybe you enjoy the scenery. Whatever you choose, getting fresh air and exercise will enhance your mood.

Be Grateful for the Small Things

When my husband was recovering from a major surgery, the doctors were uncertain about the outcome. I sat in his hospital room and prayed. “God, are You there?”

I sensed God answer me, saying, “You are praying. That means you believe I am here. You are talking to Me, which means you believe I can do something about the situation.” Then God spoke to my heart, “I hear your cries of sorrow and grief. Even in this moment, consider the little details of your day you can be grateful for.”

We can give thanks for the roof over our heads and for not having to sit out in the weather, whether it’s cold or hot. Our thankfulness can often extend to getting glasses or hearing aids when we need them. Expressing gratitude for the small gifts in our lives shifts our perspective. We might give thanks for a heater, an air conditioner, or the food options available to us.

We can choose a pessimistic perspective on life, which will make everything seem negative. Alternatively, we can choose to be grateful for the multitude of ways God has blessed us. Even a thankful heart for the gift of life and for the fact that God is still on the throne will radically change our outlook from pessimistic to hopeful.

Stay in the Moment

Most of the time, when we feel pessimistic, we either dwell on the past or worry about the future. I love the saying about worry: “Worry is imagining the future without God in it.” The Bible reassures us that God will be with us in the future and that He has already taken care of our past. He has forgiven our sins and knows what lies ahead.

The Bible promises in Jeremiah 29:11 that God has plans for our future, and He will be there when we arrive. We have the responsibility of learning to live in the moment, focusing on what God wants for us today.

What does it mean to stay in the moment? A counselor once advised me that when I noticed I felt down in the dumps and uncertain about what to do, I needed to ask myself, “If I could do anything right now, I would (then fill in the blank)?” This question helped me shift my thoughts from negative rumination to the present and consider what options I might take in the present moment.

What can I do next? What would I like to do? Sometimes my answers felt silly. I wanted to brush my teeth or eat a piece of cake. Perhaps I needed to use the bathroom or take a nap. When I took those small steps to care for myself. I felt better. Eventually, I volunteered at a counseling center and joined a choir, where I met my husband. Even now, when I feel tired or grumpy, I pause and ask myself, ‘What do I want to do next?’ Often, I realize I need to rest.

When we feel troubled, we can stop and consider what’s bothering us. Have our thoughts raced to the future and conjured negative scenarios? Have we gotten stuck regretting something we did in the past?

We can take charge of our thoughts and our actions by leaving those fears and regrets in God’s all-wise hands. Then we can ask ourselves what we can do right now to change our perspective on life. For instance, today I made detailed notes on a project I’ve worked on for several months, which helped me stop going over it again and again in my head.

This moment is the only time we have. God is with us right now. Ask Him, “What’s next?” Or ask yourself, “What do I need or want to do next?”

Five Ways to Change Pessimism into Hope

1. Reduce Your Sources of Stress

Limit the time spent with negative people, watching TV, or using social media that brings on a bad mood.

2. Acknowledge Your Accomplishments

Take a moment to reflect on the tasks that got done today, rather than focusing on those that didn’t.

3. Get Some Exercise

Work out, clean the house, scrub the floors, work in the garden, go for a walk, run, dance, golf, or declutter. Move to improve your mood.

4. Be Grateful for Small Blessings

Appreciate the little things like having a roof over your head and a solid floor beneath you. Enjoy the colors of a sunrise or sunset. Listen to the birds sing. 

5. Stay in the Moment

Focus on what you need to do next or what you want to do next? Work your way down your mental list until you find something you can do, then do it!