Why do we nag when we know it doesn’t work?
I believe it’s because we don’t know what to do instead.
Nagging is when one person repeatedly pesters or harasses someone to do something or, put another way, asks for something more than once.
Why Do We Nag?
After all those negative results, why do we still nag?
Unfortunately, we often blame our guys for our nagging because they didn’t respond to our request or didn’t do it when we wanted it done.
But nagging doesn’t get the results we want.
Here are three reasons why women nag their husbands.
Fear Lack of Order ─ “Naggers nag out of a deeply rooted fear that their world could spiral out of control if every last detail is not highly ordered.” Psychology Today
Want It Done Their Way ─ Naggers believes their way is the proper way to get things done.
Want to Be Heard ─ Naggers think their men tune them out by ignoring their requests, thus making the nagger feel rejected and unwanted.
Alternatives to Nagging
What can we do instead of nagging?
1) Restore Order Selectively Use creative ideas to store things where they’ve left if possible. For example, I use baskets to contain his stuff. Or claim certain areas in the house that you’ll keep tidy and let the rest go.
2) Accept Not Perfect – If we insist that everything is done our way, our husbands usually stop helping, and we get left with the responsibility. When we can live with less than ideal, our guys are often willing to pitch in and help.
3) Write It Down – List the tasks you want your husband to do. Let him know which one you would like done first. Then leave the rest up to him in his time and his way. If he doesn’t do it, figure out another way to get it done.
Remember – marriage is making compromises to build a team, not making clones.